What makes you go online dating?

What makes you go online dating?
--By Di Lu

As can see today, people are getting more and more reliable on internet, especially younger people. They can’t survive a day without logging onto their facebook pages to get in touch with their friends. Moreover, internet has also largely shaped the way people finding their potential lovers.

As society grows increasingly dependent upon the Internet, singles increasingly seek romantic relationships online. According to Hollander (2004) 16.6 million people visited matchmaking websites in September 2002 alone. (Kopaczewski )Online dating is now regarded as the fastest and most convenient way to find their dreamed spouses by some people. However, is online dating that magic and perfect? I would like to talk about the factors that contribute to the rise of online dating.

Low self-confidence in communication motivates people to go online dating. As internet spreading in a fast speed into every aspect of lives, we have witnessed a substantial change in the modern way people interact with others. Nowadays, most of people feel safer and more natural when chatting online compared to making face to face conversation with people. They are willing to openly discuss more personal topics such as health and love. Especially for people who have low self confidence and act shy when communicating with others, internet has been a great communication tool to find their potential partners. If one is shy or intimidate, a face to face conversation might be hard for him or her to express himself/herself. Instead, you might find him/ her more actively online chatting with you.

Low self-image also triggers people to go online to meet partners. Low self image is an unnecessary condition that may often be attributed to physical condition that people may become embarrassed or have a complex about. In Catalina L. Toma’s research, she points out the importance of physical appearance when people choose their mates. “Physical appearance served as a reliable gauge of a person’s value as a mate, and, as a result, people have evolved to favor physical attractiveness in mate selection process.”

People who encountered with low self image find it hard to present themselves in front of people. And online dating just creates the perfect path for them to escape from reality. With the advancement of technology, Photoshop CS5 and other image software can easily beautify your photos that might not look like you anymore. The anonymity of the online dating enables single men or women to create the best even inauthentic look of themselves through internet including their height, status and income. Comparing to the people who have better appearance, the people who have lower self images have higher chances to go online dating. They can create the illusionary perfect self via internet to attract others.
Cindy Rakowitz is a Cyber-Dating Expert and she has conducted a series of survey and research in “Why people lie in their profiles and personal information”. Here are the reasons she listed. She also thinks that the insecurity and low sense of self-confidence are factors make people want to camouflage into someone else.
1. Height – Reality: People are 2 inches shorter in real life.
2. Income – Reality: People are 20% poorer than they say they are.
3. Photos – REALITY: The more attractive the picture, the more likely it is to be out-of-date.
4. Swinging Both Ways – REALITY: 80% of self-identified bisexuals are only interested in one gender.

The exaggeration of people’s personal information later gives rise to another issue. Deception and dishonesty might occur in online dating. According to The National Newspaper, very few Internet networking sites run background checks, and anyone can register as their members. The imperfect internet system allows anyone to create their own profiles and information even though they might unreal. Not only you’re suspicious of one’s actual appearance, but also one’s gender and motivation. In February 2009, MySpace was forced to cancel 90,000 accounts on its site linked to registered sex offenders.

As far as I am concerned, internet is not the perfect cure for low self confident and self image. Though online dating might motivate you to attract more dater in the first beginning, your inner character and personality are the main factors that appeal to others in long term. Build up your self-confident and self- esteem before you go online dating, it will reward more than just a date.





Resource:
Video clip:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=iyO2SAhT1eM#!

Zhou, Camille. "Internet Dating Facts." n. pag. Web. 21 Aug 2011. .
"Why People Lie in their Online Dating Profiles." (2010): n. pag. Web. 21 Aug 2011. .
Toma, Catalina. "Looks and Lies: The Role of Physical Attractiveness in Online Dating Self-Presentation and Deception." n. pag. Web. 1 Sep 2011. .

Kopaczewski, S.. "Maybe we should assume that they're on match.com with totally unrealistic expectations precisely because they can't function in the normal dating world": Negotiating the stigma of online dating on edatereview.com. Ph.D. dissertation, The University of Iowa, United States -- Iowa. Retrieved August 31, 2011, from Dissertations & Theses: A&I.(Publication No. AAT 3439210).