Dating Divorcees
- by Andrew McPhillips
Online dating has continued to escalate tremendously over the past decade. Online dating has proven to have a high success rate and the public continues to use this tool. “In 2006 EHarmony did a study and reported that in a one year time period ending in August 2005, 33,000 members had gotten married. That averages out to 90 marriages a day” (Rosen). Many divorcees are learning this and gaining hope that they can find love once again.
Divorce rates have been high for the past couple decades. “In the 1970’s divorces started to increase and by 1980 one in every two marriages ended in divorce” (McGuinness). The most common age group for divorce is for people in there 40’s. This is usually when their children have grown up (if they have any) and some may be experiencing a midlife crisis. Divorce is a very emotional event and affects all members of a family. Many times when a person divorces they become unhappy and scared to get back into dating. Many divorced singles have children and feel bad taking time away from their children by going out to meet people. Some struggle with confidence issues and feel a bar is no longer a good setting to meet singles. Many dating sites are specifically catering to these kinds of people. Kim Hughes, a dating expert for the site LavaLife.com, Says “Online dating gives single parents who are busy but also cautious of who they allow into their world the chance to look for a mate on their own time and the ability to screen and filter their search." (Entertainment). On Mother’s Day LavaLife offers single mothers the opportunity to join for free, in hopes of finding them love once again. LavaLife encourages online dating stating that it is affordable, convenient to busy schedules, customizable, and a safe environment.
Online dating encourages divorcees to continue with their lives and start dating at their own time and pace. Online dating sites are catering more and more to the older generation. Many offer tips and advice about divorce and how to get back into the dating game. “Match.com made a statement saying their 45-54 age group was their fastest growing division, increasing 350 percent since 2000 and is responsible for 22 percent of all users. Representative Kristin Kelly said that older users tend to be clearer and more realistic about who they are and what they want” (Noveck). Overall online dating has become a very beneficial tool for divorced people. Online seems to be a better environment for older people and the success rates show that this works.
Works Cited
Anonymous. "Lavalife: Online Dating Ideal for Single Moms." Entertainment Close-Up (2011). Print.
McGuinness, Teena. "Marriage, Divorce, and Children." Journal of Psychosocial Nursing & Mental Health Services 44.2 (2006): 17-20. Print.
Noveck, Jocelyn. "Baby Boomers Embrace Online Dating." Charleston Gazette 16 Mar. 2006: P3A. Print.
Rosen, L., N. Cheever, C. Cummings, and J. Felt. "The Impact of Emotionality and Self-disclosure on Online Dating versus Traditional Dating." Computers in Human Behavior 24.5 (2008): 2124-157. Print.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
What makes you go online dating?
What makes you go online dating?
--By Di Lu
As can see today, people are getting more and more reliable on internet, especially younger people. They can’t survive a day without logging onto their facebook pages to get in touch with their friends. Moreover, internet has also largely shaped the way people finding their potential lovers.
As society grows increasingly dependent upon the Internet, singles increasingly seek romantic relationships online. According to Hollander (2004) 16.6 million people visited matchmaking websites in September 2002 alone. (Kopaczewski )Online dating is now regarded as the fastest and most convenient way to find their dreamed spouses by some people. However, is online dating that magic and perfect? I would like to talk about the factors that contribute to the rise of online dating.
Low self-confidence in communication motivates people to go online dating. As internet spreading in a fast speed into every aspect of lives, we have witnessed a substantial change in the modern way people interact with others. Nowadays, most of people feel safer and more natural when chatting online compared to making face to face conversation with people. They are willing to openly discuss more personal topics such as health and love. Especially for people who have low self confidence and act shy when communicating with others, internet has been a great communication tool to find their potential partners. If one is shy or intimidate, a face to face conversation might be hard for him or her to express himself/herself. Instead, you might find him/ her more actively online chatting with you.
Low self-image also triggers people to go online to meet partners. Low self image is an unnecessary condition that may often be attributed to physical condition that people may become embarrassed or have a complex about. In Catalina L. Toma’s research, she points out the importance of physical appearance when people choose their mates. “Physical appearance served as a reliable gauge of a person’s value as a mate, and, as a result, people have evolved to favor physical attractiveness in mate selection process.”
People who encountered with low self image find it hard to present themselves in front of people. And online dating just creates the perfect path for them to escape from reality. With the advancement of technology, Photoshop CS5 and other image software can easily beautify your photos that might not look like you anymore. The anonymity of the online dating enables single men or women to create the best even inauthentic look of themselves through internet including their height, status and income. Comparing to the people who have better appearance, the people who have lower self images have higher chances to go online dating. They can create the illusionary perfect self via internet to attract others.
Cindy Rakowitz is a Cyber-Dating Expert and she has conducted a series of survey and research in “Why people lie in their profiles and personal information”. Here are the reasons she listed. She also thinks that the insecurity and low sense of self-confidence are factors make people want to camouflage into someone else.
1. Height – Reality: People are 2 inches shorter in real life.
2. Income – Reality: People are 20% poorer than they say they are.
3. Photos – REALITY: The more attractive the picture, the more likely it is to be out-of-date.
4. Swinging Both Ways – REALITY: 80% of self-identified bisexuals are only interested in one gender.
The exaggeration of people’s personal information later gives rise to another issue. Deception and dishonesty might occur in online dating. According to The National Newspaper, very few Internet networking sites run background checks, and anyone can register as their members. The imperfect internet system allows anyone to create their own profiles and information even though they might unreal. Not only you’re suspicious of one’s actual appearance, but also one’s gender and motivation. In February 2009, MySpace was forced to cancel 90,000 accounts on its site linked to registered sex offenders.
As far as I am concerned, internet is not the perfect cure for low self confident and self image. Though online dating might motivate you to attract more dater in the first beginning, your inner character and personality are the main factors that appeal to others in long term. Build up your self-confident and self- esteem before you go online dating, it will reward more than just a date.
Resource:
Video clip:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=iyO2SAhT1eM#!
Zhou, Camille. "Internet Dating Facts." n. pag. Web. 21 Aug 2011..
"Why People Lie in their Online Dating Profiles." (2010): n. pag. Web. 21 Aug 2011..
Toma, Catalina. "Looks and Lies: The Role of Physical Attractiveness in Online Dating Self-Presentation and Deception." n. pag. Web. 1 Sep 2011..
Kopaczewski, S.. "Maybe we should assume that they're on match.com with totally unrealistic expectations precisely because they can't function in the normal dating world": Negotiating the stigma of online dating on edatereview.com. Ph.D. dissertation, The University of Iowa, United States -- Iowa. Retrieved August 31, 2011, from Dissertations & Theses: A&I.(Publication No. AAT 3439210).
--By Di Lu
As can see today, people are getting more and more reliable on internet, especially younger people. They can’t survive a day without logging onto their facebook pages to get in touch with their friends. Moreover, internet has also largely shaped the way people finding their potential lovers.
As society grows increasingly dependent upon the Internet, singles increasingly seek romantic relationships online. According to Hollander (2004) 16.6 million people visited matchmaking websites in September 2002 alone. (Kopaczewski )Online dating is now regarded as the fastest and most convenient way to find their dreamed spouses by some people. However, is online dating that magic and perfect? I would like to talk about the factors that contribute to the rise of online dating.
Low self-confidence in communication motivates people to go online dating. As internet spreading in a fast speed into every aspect of lives, we have witnessed a substantial change in the modern way people interact with others. Nowadays, most of people feel safer and more natural when chatting online compared to making face to face conversation with people. They are willing to openly discuss more personal topics such as health and love. Especially for people who have low self confidence and act shy when communicating with others, internet has been a great communication tool to find their potential partners. If one is shy or intimidate, a face to face conversation might be hard for him or her to express himself/herself. Instead, you might find him/ her more actively online chatting with you.
Low self-image also triggers people to go online to meet partners. Low self image is an unnecessary condition that may often be attributed to physical condition that people may become embarrassed or have a complex about. In Catalina L. Toma’s research, she points out the importance of physical appearance when people choose their mates. “Physical appearance served as a reliable gauge of a person’s value as a mate, and, as a result, people have evolved to favor physical attractiveness in mate selection process.”
People who encountered with low self image find it hard to present themselves in front of people. And online dating just creates the perfect path for them to escape from reality. With the advancement of technology, Photoshop CS5 and other image software can easily beautify your photos that might not look like you anymore. The anonymity of the online dating enables single men or women to create the best even inauthentic look of themselves through internet including their height, status and income. Comparing to the people who have better appearance, the people who have lower self images have higher chances to go online dating. They can create the illusionary perfect self via internet to attract others.
Cindy Rakowitz is a Cyber-Dating Expert and she has conducted a series of survey and research in “Why people lie in their profiles and personal information”. Here are the reasons she listed. She also thinks that the insecurity and low sense of self-confidence are factors make people want to camouflage into someone else.
1. Height – Reality: People are 2 inches shorter in real life.
2. Income – Reality: People are 20% poorer than they say they are.
3. Photos – REALITY: The more attractive the picture, the more likely it is to be out-of-date.
4. Swinging Both Ways – REALITY: 80% of self-identified bisexuals are only interested in one gender.
The exaggeration of people’s personal information later gives rise to another issue. Deception and dishonesty might occur in online dating. According to The National Newspaper, very few Internet networking sites run background checks, and anyone can register as their members. The imperfect internet system allows anyone to create their own profiles and information even though they might unreal. Not only you’re suspicious of one’s actual appearance, but also one’s gender and motivation. In February 2009, MySpace was forced to cancel 90,000 accounts on its site linked to registered sex offenders.
As far as I am concerned, internet is not the perfect cure for low self confident and self image. Though online dating might motivate you to attract more dater in the first beginning, your inner character and personality are the main factors that appeal to others in long term. Build up your self-confident and self- esteem before you go online dating, it will reward more than just a date.
Resource:
Video clip:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=iyO2SAhT1eM#!
Zhou, Camille. "Internet Dating Facts." n. pag. Web. 21 Aug 2011.
"Why People Lie in their Online Dating Profiles." (2010): n. pag. Web. 21 Aug 2011.
Toma, Catalina. "Looks and Lies: The Role of Physical Attractiveness in Online Dating Self-Presentation and Deception." n. pag. Web. 1 Sep 2011.
Kopaczewski, S.. "Maybe we should assume that they're on match.com with totally unrealistic expectations precisely because they can't function in the normal dating world": Negotiating the stigma of online dating on edatereview.com. Ph.D. dissertation, The University of Iowa, United States -- Iowa. Retrieved August 31, 2011, from Dissertations & Theses: A&I.(Publication No. AAT 3439210).
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