Dating Divorcees
- by Andrew McPhillips
Online dating has continued to escalate tremendously over the past decade. Online dating has proven to have a high success rate and the public continues to use this tool. “In 2006 EHarmony did a study and reported that in a one year time period ending in August 2005, 33,000 members had gotten married. That averages out to 90 marriages a day” (Rosen). Many divorcees are learning this and gaining hope that they can find love once again.
Divorce rates have been high for the past couple decades. “In the 1970’s divorces started to increase and by 1980 one in every two marriages ended in divorce” (McGuinness). The most common age group for divorce is for people in there 40’s. This is usually when their children have grown up (if they have any) and some may be experiencing a midlife crisis. Divorce is a very emotional event and affects all members of a family. Many times when a person divorces they become unhappy and scared to get back into dating. Many divorced singles have children and feel bad taking time away from their children by going out to meet people. Some struggle with confidence issues and feel a bar is no longer a good setting to meet singles. Many dating sites are specifically catering to these kinds of people. Kim Hughes, a dating expert for the site LavaLife.com, Says “Online dating gives single parents who are busy but also cautious of who they allow into their world the chance to look for a mate on their own time and the ability to screen and filter their search." (Entertainment). On Mother’s Day LavaLife offers single mothers the opportunity to join for free, in hopes of finding them love once again. LavaLife encourages online dating stating that it is affordable, convenient to busy schedules, customizable, and a safe environment.
Online dating encourages divorcees to continue with their lives and start dating at their own time and pace. Online dating sites are catering more and more to the older generation. Many offer tips and advice about divorce and how to get back into the dating game. “Match.com made a statement saying their 45-54 age group was their fastest growing division, increasing 350 percent since 2000 and is responsible for 22 percent of all users. Representative Kristin Kelly said that older users tend to be clearer and more realistic about who they are and what they want” (Noveck). Overall online dating has become a very beneficial tool for divorced people. Online seems to be a better environment for older people and the success rates show that this works.
Works Cited
Anonymous. "Lavalife: Online Dating Ideal for Single Moms." Entertainment Close-Up (2011). Print.
McGuinness, Teena. "Marriage, Divorce, and Children." Journal of Psychosocial Nursing & Mental Health Services 44.2 (2006): 17-20. Print.
Noveck, Jocelyn. "Baby Boomers Embrace Online Dating." Charleston Gazette 16 Mar. 2006: P3A. Print.
Rosen, L., N. Cheever, C. Cummings, and J. Felt. "The Impact of Emotionality and Self-disclosure on Online Dating versus Traditional Dating." Computers in Human Behavior 24.5 (2008): 2124-157. Print.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
What makes you go online dating?
What makes you go online dating?
--By Di Lu
As can see today, people are getting more and more reliable on internet, especially younger people. They can’t survive a day without logging onto their facebook pages to get in touch with their friends. Moreover, internet has also largely shaped the way people finding their potential lovers.
As society grows increasingly dependent upon the Internet, singles increasingly seek romantic relationships online. According to Hollander (2004) 16.6 million people visited matchmaking websites in September 2002 alone. (Kopaczewski )Online dating is now regarded as the fastest and most convenient way to find their dreamed spouses by some people. However, is online dating that magic and perfect? I would like to talk about the factors that contribute to the rise of online dating.
Low self-confidence in communication motivates people to go online dating. As internet spreading in a fast speed into every aspect of lives, we have witnessed a substantial change in the modern way people interact with others. Nowadays, most of people feel safer and more natural when chatting online compared to making face to face conversation with people. They are willing to openly discuss more personal topics such as health and love. Especially for people who have low self confidence and act shy when communicating with others, internet has been a great communication tool to find their potential partners. If one is shy or intimidate, a face to face conversation might be hard for him or her to express himself/herself. Instead, you might find him/ her more actively online chatting with you.
Low self-image also triggers people to go online to meet partners. Low self image is an unnecessary condition that may often be attributed to physical condition that people may become embarrassed or have a complex about. In Catalina L. Toma’s research, she points out the importance of physical appearance when people choose their mates. “Physical appearance served as a reliable gauge of a person’s value as a mate, and, as a result, people have evolved to favor physical attractiveness in mate selection process.”
People who encountered with low self image find it hard to present themselves in front of people. And online dating just creates the perfect path for them to escape from reality. With the advancement of technology, Photoshop CS5 and other image software can easily beautify your photos that might not look like you anymore. The anonymity of the online dating enables single men or women to create the best even inauthentic look of themselves through internet including their height, status and income. Comparing to the people who have better appearance, the people who have lower self images have higher chances to go online dating. They can create the illusionary perfect self via internet to attract others.
Cindy Rakowitz is a Cyber-Dating Expert and she has conducted a series of survey and research in “Why people lie in their profiles and personal information”. Here are the reasons she listed. She also thinks that the insecurity and low sense of self-confidence are factors make people want to camouflage into someone else.
1. Height – Reality: People are 2 inches shorter in real life.
2. Income – Reality: People are 20% poorer than they say they are.
3. Photos – REALITY: The more attractive the picture, the more likely it is to be out-of-date.
4. Swinging Both Ways – REALITY: 80% of self-identified bisexuals are only interested in one gender.
The exaggeration of people’s personal information later gives rise to another issue. Deception and dishonesty might occur in online dating. According to The National Newspaper, very few Internet networking sites run background checks, and anyone can register as their members. The imperfect internet system allows anyone to create their own profiles and information even though they might unreal. Not only you’re suspicious of one’s actual appearance, but also one’s gender and motivation. In February 2009, MySpace was forced to cancel 90,000 accounts on its site linked to registered sex offenders.
As far as I am concerned, internet is not the perfect cure for low self confident and self image. Though online dating might motivate you to attract more dater in the first beginning, your inner character and personality are the main factors that appeal to others in long term. Build up your self-confident and self- esteem before you go online dating, it will reward more than just a date.
Resource:
Video clip:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=iyO2SAhT1eM#!
Zhou, Camille. "Internet Dating Facts." n. pag. Web. 21 Aug 2011..
"Why People Lie in their Online Dating Profiles." (2010): n. pag. Web. 21 Aug 2011..
Toma, Catalina. "Looks and Lies: The Role of Physical Attractiveness in Online Dating Self-Presentation and Deception." n. pag. Web. 1 Sep 2011..
Kopaczewski, S.. "Maybe we should assume that they're on match.com with totally unrealistic expectations precisely because they can't function in the normal dating world": Negotiating the stigma of online dating on edatereview.com. Ph.D. dissertation, The University of Iowa, United States -- Iowa. Retrieved August 31, 2011, from Dissertations & Theses: A&I.(Publication No. AAT 3439210).
--By Di Lu
As can see today, people are getting more and more reliable on internet, especially younger people. They can’t survive a day without logging onto their facebook pages to get in touch with their friends. Moreover, internet has also largely shaped the way people finding their potential lovers.
As society grows increasingly dependent upon the Internet, singles increasingly seek romantic relationships online. According to Hollander (2004) 16.6 million people visited matchmaking websites in September 2002 alone. (Kopaczewski )Online dating is now regarded as the fastest and most convenient way to find their dreamed spouses by some people. However, is online dating that magic and perfect? I would like to talk about the factors that contribute to the rise of online dating.
Low self-confidence in communication motivates people to go online dating. As internet spreading in a fast speed into every aspect of lives, we have witnessed a substantial change in the modern way people interact with others. Nowadays, most of people feel safer and more natural when chatting online compared to making face to face conversation with people. They are willing to openly discuss more personal topics such as health and love. Especially for people who have low self confidence and act shy when communicating with others, internet has been a great communication tool to find their potential partners. If one is shy or intimidate, a face to face conversation might be hard for him or her to express himself/herself. Instead, you might find him/ her more actively online chatting with you.
Low self-image also triggers people to go online to meet partners. Low self image is an unnecessary condition that may often be attributed to physical condition that people may become embarrassed or have a complex about. In Catalina L. Toma’s research, she points out the importance of physical appearance when people choose their mates. “Physical appearance served as a reliable gauge of a person’s value as a mate, and, as a result, people have evolved to favor physical attractiveness in mate selection process.”
People who encountered with low self image find it hard to present themselves in front of people. And online dating just creates the perfect path for them to escape from reality. With the advancement of technology, Photoshop CS5 and other image software can easily beautify your photos that might not look like you anymore. The anonymity of the online dating enables single men or women to create the best even inauthentic look of themselves through internet including their height, status and income. Comparing to the people who have better appearance, the people who have lower self images have higher chances to go online dating. They can create the illusionary perfect self via internet to attract others.
Cindy Rakowitz is a Cyber-Dating Expert and she has conducted a series of survey and research in “Why people lie in their profiles and personal information”. Here are the reasons she listed. She also thinks that the insecurity and low sense of self-confidence are factors make people want to camouflage into someone else.
1. Height – Reality: People are 2 inches shorter in real life.
2. Income – Reality: People are 20% poorer than they say they are.
3. Photos – REALITY: The more attractive the picture, the more likely it is to be out-of-date.
4. Swinging Both Ways – REALITY: 80% of self-identified bisexuals are only interested in one gender.
The exaggeration of people’s personal information later gives rise to another issue. Deception and dishonesty might occur in online dating. According to The National Newspaper, very few Internet networking sites run background checks, and anyone can register as their members. The imperfect internet system allows anyone to create their own profiles and information even though they might unreal. Not only you’re suspicious of one’s actual appearance, but also one’s gender and motivation. In February 2009, MySpace was forced to cancel 90,000 accounts on its site linked to registered sex offenders.
As far as I am concerned, internet is not the perfect cure for low self confident and self image. Though online dating might motivate you to attract more dater in the first beginning, your inner character and personality are the main factors that appeal to others in long term. Build up your self-confident and self- esteem before you go online dating, it will reward more than just a date.
Resource:
Video clip:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=iyO2SAhT1eM#!
Zhou, Camille. "Internet Dating Facts." n. pag. Web. 21 Aug 2011.
"Why People Lie in their Online Dating Profiles." (2010): n. pag. Web. 21 Aug 2011.
Toma, Catalina. "Looks and Lies: The Role of Physical Attractiveness in Online Dating Self-Presentation and Deception." n. pag. Web. 1 Sep 2011.
Kopaczewski, S.. "Maybe we should assume that they're on match.com with totally unrealistic expectations precisely because they can't function in the normal dating world": Negotiating the stigma of online dating on edatereview.com. Ph.D. dissertation, The University of Iowa, United States -- Iowa. Retrieved August 31, 2011, from Dissertations & Theses: A&I.(Publication No. AAT 3439210).
Monday, August 29, 2011
But what are the odds of an STD?
Although online dating may be fun and exciting to some there are many down sides to it as well. The increasing rate of STDs is one of them. It’s common enough these days to pick up an STD so imagine how easy it can be from someone you met online and hardly know much about. The growth of the online dating world continues but the risks of an STD grow as well. “This is one main reason that Online Dating Magazine has opened the STD Information Center, an in-depth educational reference on sexually transmitted diseases.” (Tracy)
There was a study done by The Journal of the American Medical Association in July 2000 to compare the risk of STDs from those seeking a partner online to those not online. And in their conclusion they found that “clients who seek sex using the Internet appear to be at greater risk for STDs than clients who do not seek sex on the Internet.” (McFarlane) That’s proof right there that many of today’s STDs are spread from those dating online.
It’s become such an issue in the world that there is actually online dating sits out there for those infected with an STD. There are sites like MPWH.com and stdmatch.net because there are that many people out there with STDs. “One in four women is infected with genital herpes, and nearly one in five men according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.” (Cohen) Now I don’t know about you but I think that’s a pretty big amount of people out there with an STD.
So how do you honestly know what you’re getting yourself into when making an account for online dating? Yes it’s fun and exciting but when doing this you have to educate yourself with the proper information before taking this plunge. Keep in mind the odds and don’t rush into anything, Online dating shouldn’t be for finding a one night stand, that could in turn lead to a bigger problem. It should be about finding your sole mate.
Works Cited
Cohen, Elizabeth. "Rising STD Rate Sparks Online Dating Sites - CNN." Featured Articles from CNN. CBB Health, 27 Feb. 2007. Web. 29 Aug. 2011. <http://articles.cnn.com/2007-02-27/health/std.internet_1_herpes-web-sites-human-papillomavirus?_s=PM:HEALTH>
Tracy, Joe. "STDs a Serious Issue in the Online Dating World." Online Dating Magazine - Dating Service News Tips and Reviews. Joe Tracy, Publisher of Online Dating Magazine, Jan. 2004. Web. 29 Aug. 2011. <http://www.onlinedatingmagazine.com/columns/editorial03.html>.
McFarlane, Mary, Sheana S. Bull, and Cornelis A. Rietmeijer, "The Internet as a Newly Emerging Risk Environment for Sexually Transmitted Diseases, July 26, 2000, McFarlane Et Al. 284 (4): 443 - JAMA. "JAMA, the Journal of the American Medical Association, a weekly Peer-reviewed Medical Journal Published by AMA - JAMA. JAMA, July 2000. Web. 29 Aug. 2011. <http://jama.ama-assn.org/content/284/4/443>.
Works Cited
Cohen, Elizabeth. "Rising STD Rate Sparks Online Dating Sites - CNN." Featured Articles from CNN. CBB Health, 27 Feb. 2007. Web. 29 Aug. 2011. <http://articles.cnn.com/2007-02-27/health/std.internet_1_herpes-web-sites-human-papillomavirus?_s=PM:HEALTH>
Tracy, Joe. "STDs a Serious Issue in the Online Dating World." Online Dating Magazine - Dating Service News Tips and Reviews. Joe Tracy, Publisher of Online Dating Magazine, Jan. 2004. Web. 29 Aug. 2011. <http://www.onlinedatingmagazine.com/columns/editorial03.html>.
McFarlane, Mary, Sheana S. Bull, and Cornelis A. Rietmeijer, "The Internet as a Newly Emerging Risk Environment for Sexually Transmitted Diseases, July 26, 2000, McFarlane Et Al. 284 (4): 443 - JAMA. "JAMA, the Journal of the American Medical Association, a weekly Peer-reviewed Medical Journal Published by AMA - JAMA. JAMA, July 2000. Web. 29 Aug. 2011. <http://jama.ama-assn.org/content/284/4/443>.
Monday, August 22, 2011
Love Don't Cost A Thing
Why Recessions Push Us to Date...
Whether you are surfing online dating websites looking for love, a snuggle buddy, a free meal, or just a good old fashioned hook up, internet dating has grown rapidly due to economic recessions. You might not realize the forces that drove you there, but online dating has proven to be recession-proof.
Make no mistake about it; recession equals unemployment, and unemployment equals loneliness! “At a time when money is scarce or uncertain, when people are assessing their priorities, they don’t want to go through it alone,” said Dr. Pepper Schwartz, a professor of sociology at the University of Washington in Seattle, and the relationship expert at Perfectmatch.com, which had a 51 percent increase in new members in the fourth quarter of 2008 compared with 2007. “When you’re not sure what’s coming at you, love seems all the more important,” Dr. Schwartz said. (Ellin, A., 2009)The first major recession to follow the 90's internet boom took place in 2000, followed by our most recent economic downturn in 2008.
In 1999, only two percent of American singles had used some form of online personals services. By 2002, right in the middle of that major recession, those numbers had grown. One in four singles were then using internet dating services in their search for a potential partner and internet dating had grown into a $304 million business. (Orr, 2004)
Fast forwarding to 2008, Match.com had its strongest fourth quarter in the last seven years. So, counting backwards to seven years ago, their last strongest fourth quarter would have been back in 2001 which, coincidentally, was during the last economic recession. During the last economic downturn, in 2001, Duane Dahl, the chief executive of Perfectmatch.com, noted that there was a spike in interest similar to what the industry is seeing now. For instance, he said, the strong third and fourth quarter results his company saw in 2008 were consistent with 2001 numbers. (Ellin, A., 2009)
Unemployment also leads to boredom for those who find themselves at home with no money and nothing to do. “During recessions people stay at home more, they don’t want to pay and go to bars. They’re going online to meet each other,” said Markus Frind, the chief executive of Plentyoffish, a free site, where visits have increased 77 percent from December 2007 to December 2008, and 32 percent over the last three months. (Ellin, A., 2009)
WORKS CITED
Ellin, Abby (2009) The Romance of Recession. Isn’t It Romantic? NYTimes.com: Fashion and Style. Retrieved on August 18, 2011 from: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/12/fashion/12dating.html
Orr, Andrea. 2004. Meeting, Mating, and Cheating: Sex, Love, and the New World of Online Dating. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Reuters.
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